So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
