so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
