Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
