I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
