oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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