i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
