He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
