More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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