The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
