I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize