Porn is love you can see.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
