That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
