How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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