i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
