Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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