I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
