If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
