grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
