dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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