So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
