you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize