was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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