No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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