I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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