Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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