can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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