I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
