The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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