i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize