I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
