I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
