3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
