Yo dont text me then not text me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
