I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i now understand why vodka
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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