thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
