She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
