We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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