So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize