At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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