At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
