We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
