i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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