I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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