Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
