I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
