Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
