they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
