so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
