ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
