haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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