Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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