Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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