dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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