We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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