Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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