So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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