my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
