let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
