Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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