I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
