Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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