The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize