what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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